For many many years I meditated every day, and it was such an incredible anchor for me. I was literally rooted to the floor in life and in the past couple of years I’ve let this simple practice slide. Or rather I do it now irregularly. And the inconsistency in all areas of my life is reflected back in so many ways.
It’s curious, in some ways, I wonder how I’d be if I’d never opened the floodgates of insight with regards to meditation all those years ago. I have a strange feeling I’d probably be a fairly happy zombie. When I’m not meditating, my awareness dims to such a degree that I am on autopilot.
There is nothing wrong with being on auto-pilot, most people are. i.e. we go about our lives reacting like pinballs in a machine, clanking about from experience to experience. The thing is however; autopilot for me now, because I had spent years meditating, is a different autopilot to the one I was in before I started. It’s a place of confusion and loose ends. It’s like, if you stop meditating, half way thru your life, there might still be a whole lot of stuff that is untangled.
Fine if you haven’t started on the journey, but not so fine if you have – it’s akin to waving a stick in a wasps nest. If you’d never done it … they’d have left well alone. It’s like, I took the blue pill all those years ago, stepped out the matrix, and part of me wishes I hadn’t because now … as a consequence, I have to meditate … I simply have to … or my life doesn’t work. None of this will make any sense if you haven’t meditated before. Ha. (p.s. I may have the pills the wrong way round I can’t remember the film) 🙂
So from tomorrow, I’ve a goal to meditate for 20 mins twice daily for 12 months. Once in the morning and once in the late afternoon or early evening. No matter where I am, not matter what I’m doing, I have to create the time to do this.
Anyway … bit of a different entry today and … well I post what I write. So … onwards.
Edited Kyla’s images today of her and Marcus and the little bubba. Kyla & Marcus are such a special couple. I was feeling a little out of things and I started editing her pics and just seeing how her and her family are together zapped me out of things for a little. Love you K x